Ans.  The three websites are unique tools to help parents through difficult transitions.  Divorcing and divorced parents can find help at www.UpToParents.org.  Parents never married to each other can find help at www.ProudToParent.org.  Parents intending to stay married but wishing to remember their children's needs as they work through marital problems can be helped by www.WhileWeHeal.org.

Each of the websites is a chance for parents to take an interactive timeout from their conflict to consider about 52 Commitments they could make to their children in periods of conflict and stress.  Our experience in working with hundreds of families is that children have critical needs at such times, that only parents can effectively answer those needs, and that parents come out much better themselves when they make protecting children their highest priority.

Ans.  In our counseling and mediation work with parents, we saw the startling differences parents were able to achieve for themselves and their children when they put their conflict on hold and focused for a time on their children's needs.

We originally had parents doing versions of these exercises on paper in packages that were mailed to them.  When we saw the difference that their work made, we chose these websites as the best vehicle to give this opportunity to all parents.

Ans.  Precisely because it opens parents' eyes to all the opportunities they have to protect their children and to use that focus in making their own lives better, YES!

Interestingly enough, we have never had a parent complain about the effort required.  On the contrary, the overwhelming reaction we receive from parents who use these tools is one of excitement.

A good job on the Commitments and the four accompanying Exercises can take two hours or more--as much as a parent is willing to devote to this compassionate work.

Ans.  Doing the work on the websites begins with choosing the Commitments you think would be important and completing the four Exercises.  However, as with most other good things in this world, execution is the key.

Start by looking at the box of suggested uses at the beginning of your Agreed Commitments. Parents who read and use the Commitments help their children and themselves!

Ans.  The Memo on our Professionals' Corner explains this in greater detail (and offers sample referral forms), but basically all parents in legal or personal conflict could usefully be referred to these sites.  These certainly include:

• divorcing and divorced parents.
• never-married parents in legal and personal disputes.
• parents attending divorce, paternity, or parenting classes.
• parents in counseling over marital issues.

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Ans.  Absolutely.  Grown kids overwhelmingly want their parents to get along and be happy.

Some of the Commitments may not apply to your family, so you can simply leave those unchecked.  (Remember, you don’t get any grade for the number of Commitments you choose; what matters is choosing the ones you think would be important to your children and yourselves, and then following through and building on your choices.)

Ans.  We strongly believe the answer is Yes, but with one caution.

Victims of domestic violence should always have effective counseling when using any parenting resource, these websites included.

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Ans.  This is easy.

Use any computer with Internet access (most public libraries offer these), and our Sign In page will allow you to open a free YAHOO! email account in a minute or two.

The website can't change the names you entered when you signed up. You can use the "unsubscribe" link from the opening email you received from us and then start over by signing on (with a new username) and entering the children's names you want to use.

Ans.  You can’t access your husband’s responses to the four Exercises unless he makes a copy for you or gives you his username and password.

We intentionally set up the website this way, as many responses to the four Exercises can be quite personal.  We encourage you, however, to share both your Agreed Commitments and your Exercise responses with a counselor, clergy person, mediator, or other trusted person who could meet with the two of you and help you discuss your responses and plan your future co-parenting.

Ans.  Click on the "Forgot Your Password?" link that appears on the Home page.  You will be asked to enter your email address, then your username and password will be instantly emailed to you.

Ans.  We hear about this on rare occasions, and usually the problem is a so-called "Pop-Up Blocker" one.  Try holding down the control button while clicking on the Exercise.

There are three possible answers.

First, make sure that you are using the correct username and password.  You can check this by clicking on the "Forgot Your Password?" link.

Second, if you took more than 30 days, you will need to start over using a new username and password.

Third, responses are available for one year after a parent finishes the work.  If more than a year has passed, we encourage you to redo the site with a new username and password.

Ans.  One of you will need the other's username.  (Don't share your passwords unless you want to show each other your written Exercise responses.)  You can then log back on and follow the simple directions that come up on clicking the MERGE link on the Conclusion Page.  You'll receive a prompt to tell you when to enter your co-parent's username.  The directions are very easy.

Ans.  You can add to (or change) your responses to Exercises A through D.  Just log on with your username and password, and you will be taken to the Conclusion page where you can do this.  Go to the page and click on the particular Exercise you want to revisit.

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